Stages of Perception

[randomness]

From Carolyn Hax, via Shapely Prose:

I think there are stages of perception: 1. When all you know or notice is yourself; 2. When you think everything that you have felt applies to others as well; 3. When you realize that others can go through the same thing as you but not feel the same way as you did; 4. When you can put yourself in other's positions and understand what they feel. Everyone knows Stage 1 is obnoxious, but people stuck in Stage 2 can almost be more so, because they think they know something about you.

Comments

[meepodeekin.livejournal.com]

Hear! Hear!

[intuition-ist.livejournal.com]

how about: people stuck in stage 2 can be obnoxious because they think that realizing a commonality with another person automatically gives them some deeper understanding that person
?

[cathyr19355.livejournal.com]

I think r_ness got it right the first time. Stage 2 people are annoying because they think they know something about you (based on their inferences from their experiences) but, in fact, they are wrong (because your preferences and reactions to the same type of experience they had are very different). In other words, I disagree a bit with desert_born because a Stage 2 person may *think* he or she knows something about you whereas the truth may be that he/she is totally wrong. That's why I really resent it when Stage 2 people attempt to be empathetic with me; it feels as though they are presuming on my good nature. It feels as though they are faking fellow feeling to get something from me, and that makes me angry.