It had been a summer romance I hadn't wanted to end with the summer...

[randomness]

...but in the end she didn't agree with me.

I woke up this afternoon from a nap feeling sad because of a dream.

She was a friend in college: kind, warm, loving; a big girl in all the best ways, especially her heart. We'd spent a lot of time together but never gotten involved, mostly from lack of interest on her part, partly from lack of communication on mine.

And I dreamed that we were a couple, that summer, which seemed plausible in the dream at least.

I felt she'd been neglectful, somehow, and--in the dream--I'd retaliated by giving her what I thought was a corresponding level of neglect. Unfortunately for me, for us, she'd then decided that the end of the summer would be a good time for the end of the relationship. And I was despondent.

I hadn't spoken to her in a good twenty years. And probably hadn't thought of her in ten. And yet.

Waking, I thought, what a silly way for me to behave. But not an inaccurate depiction of how I would have behaved, if it had all happened then.

And I'm left with the image of her, sleeping turned away from me in the bed, as I got up to walk away.

Comments

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

*HUG*

[stolen-tea.livejournal.com]

That was beautiful and melancholy. Thank you for sharing it!

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

That is haunting. Wow.

[digitalemur.livejournal.com]

Yes, do please talk about it instead of meeting feelings of being neglected with retaliating in neglectfulness.

PS: I want to learn to make moo shu at home so that I can feed you some. Yummy!

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

*hug*

Thanks. :)

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

Sure. Just had to write, y'know?

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

I have, I think, learned a few things about relationships since 1988. A few.

What do you think? :)

Mmmmm. I should get dinner.

[stolen-tea.livejournal.com]

Yah.