(no subject)

[randomness]

"It’s no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst." -- Henry in Tom Stoppard's "The Real Thing".

Comments

[redbird]

That makes sense, but there's also the question of what counts as different people's best. The way that some people think of jealousy as evidence that "s/he really does love me" comes to mind, as does the sort of extreme generosity that gives away not only one's own time and stuff, but things that are needed by, promised to, or even belong to one's family and partners. (My friend whose mother let her go hungry so she could donate to her cult was an extreme case.)

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

1) I often advise people in romantic doubt that everyone has their flaws. You're not going to find the person without them and if you did, you wouldn't want them. The trick is not to decide that you can overlook the flaws, but to decide that you choose this set of flaws, that you can love the person with these particular flaws and you can commit to those flaws making you a little nutty for the next fifty-odd years.

2) I once screamed at Jason, during a fight, "You love me because I'm emotionally open!" With chagrin he admitted this to be the case.

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

I once screamed at Jason, during a fight, "You love me because I'm emotionally open!" With chagrin he admitted this to be the case.

Priceless!

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

The trick is not to decide that you can overlook the flaws, but to decide that you choose this set of flaws, that you can love the person with these particular flaws and you can commit to those flaws making you a little nutty for the next fifty-odd years.

Definitely.

One of my friends described his attitude towards a mutual friend, "I'm a friend of his but I'm not blind to his faults."

Seems like a similar attitude applies to romance.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

True, modulo what the flaws are -- I've had too many "Your Racist Friend" -type conversations with people who were rather overinvested in excusing their loved ones' serious flaws.

[muffyjo]

Being blind to a person's faults seems somewhat dangerous for many, many reasons. And being blind to your own, even more so. Being able to find people whose faults are acceptable to your own way of thinking, has to be key. Even in friendships. Else you can connect but you will lose trust, I'd think.

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

one of my favorite plays. i saw it on Broadway a billion years ago.

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

True enough.

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

Yeah, mine too. I managed to get tickets to it in the West End. Student priced tickets, at that! (Well, I was a student then, after all.)