One single piece of advice I would have given to my high school self:

[randomness]

"You have to ask. If you don't ask, you won't get."

You still may not get what you want if you do ask, of course, but if you don't ask you almost certainly won't.

Comments

[allyphoe.livejournal.com]

Ah, but would you have listened to yourself? I tell my middle school daughter that all the time, and she still often won't ask.

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

Seconded, with a supplement: people are a lot more reasonable about being asked for stuff than you might think. Not everyone makes a big PITA out of it.

[whitebird.livejournal.com]

My phrasing for it is, "If you do not give people an opportunity to say no, they will never say yes."

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

Oh, certainly not. If I were the sort of person who'd have listened to me, I'd probably have already been asking. :)

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

It's true! I think I thought back then the consequences would be worse.

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

Well put.

[allyphoe.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me either.

[doctordidj.livejournal.com]

Weird ... that I learned when I was little NOT to ask. I learned that asking would usually make it less likely that I'd get what I was asking for, not more. Which I can see now is pretty fucked up. But that's what I learned.

[muffyjo]

I think I wouldn't have told myself that, but I would have loved to have LEARNED that. I wish I could figure out how to reduce the anxiety around asking. It's something I have trouble with, even today as the adult me. Why are we afraid to voice our desires?

[achinhibitor.livejournal.com]

How large is the penalty for asking and being told No? Sometimes it's small, and sometimes it's large.

I've seen it said that women who try to negotiate for higher salaries when they're hired are looked down upon in ways that men who do that are not. That has many ramifications, but one is that asking is not always free.