(no subject)

[randomness]

Of all the articles on tonight's dick-sizing debate, Breitbart probably has the best photo/headline combination.


Trump Reassures Nation About Penis Size at GOP Debate

Comments

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

For anyone who didn't watch the debate, that's not a joke caption. He's being oblique, but that's what he's talking about.

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

wow. and i mean "wow" in the "WTF" sense.

[sylphon.livejournal.com]

*snerk*

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

Of course, in the interest of bipartisanship, I will point out that when President Johnson (a Democrat) wanted to reassure the press about his penis size, he did it the old-fashioned way.

[bex77]

As someone said today on FB... no surprise. We already knew he was the biggest dick in the room.

[digitalemur.livejournal.com]

Larry Flynt is now pestering him to actually publish his size. It's like "Only Nixon could go to China," but for penises.

[fin9901.livejournal.com]

Yep, back when the White House still had an indoor swimming pool (which nowadays is the main press conference room), Johnson used to go skinny-dipping there regularly with guests.

[fin9901.livejournal.com]

Personally I like how Ace of Spades analyzed Trump's performance in the debate. I'm going to quote the entirety of the Trump section of his Debate Scorecard simply because the long paragraph with the clowns etc. is the most surreal and funny thing I've read since Hunter S. Thompson died. Here's the link to the full article: http://ace.mu.nu/archives/361934.php

Donald Trump. Repudiated the Jeff Sessions Immigration Plan -- which was the only reason to support him -- by declaring he was "changing" and "softening" it because we need all these highly-skilled people to take our jobs. Then said he would be "flexible" on the wall and deporting illegals and pretty much admitted he'd said as much to the New York Times editorial board, and then, in case you were unsure if you'd heard him right, praised Marco Rubio's Amnesty plan as "fine" and a good opening bargaining position.

Kept talking about his hand-size and then, just when you thought this was getting weird, brought it back into a more sensible area by assuring the world that his penis size was sufficient for most.

He then added some substance to his foreign policy platform by declaring that he would force American soldiers to break the law and murder children.

On other issues, he was less reassuring.

His answers to questions about Trump University and the budget were somewhat uncomfortable to watch, in much the same way that it is uncomfortable to watch a bus full of circus clowns crash into a school for blind children and even worse the clowns were doing their "Gasoline Comedy" act that day and now all the blind children are on fire and the clowns are trying to squirt water on them with their stupid lapel-flowers but the flowers are just squirting out more gas and the children are crying tears of fire out of their Unseeing Dead Eyes and holy shit a couple of the clowns look like they have boners and they're chasing around the fiery blind children trying to rub up on them with these bobbling clown-boners with big red bulbs on their tips.

In other words, as Trump would say: Not the best. Really not terrific. A real mess!

Grade: I don't even know how to even start grading this. As far as a letter grade, I give a red X carved crudely through the face of a rotting pig with a bunch of stripper-glitter tossed on it.

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

Ace of Spades gets one in on every candidate, but I really agreed with this bit on Rubio, given that I just posted about it:

"Came in 2nd place, which is what we now know as 'Rubio Gold.'"

His comment on Cruz's performance is sadly true, on the debate stage and off:

"Generally did a good job, but sometimes gives the impression that he is not actually a man, but rather a robotic man-suit piloted internally by a team of ultra right-wing ducks standing on each other's backs and quacking Fredrick Hayek quotes to each other."