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randomnessI deal poorly when people are angry with me.
I turn inward and become avoidant when anger is directed at me. I withdraw. This is perhaps understandable but not helpful. It makes discussion difficult, if not impossible, because I'm fearful and closed. Getting to talking takes longer than I wish, and sometimes never happens, because I'm afraid to approach until I have clear, unambiguous indication that the other party isn't angry and wants to talk. But often they're waiting for me to approach them. And sometimes they are still angry, but it's nonetheless a good idea to talk. I lack good coping mechanisms for this situation.
I need to figure out some other way of dealing with it. I encounter anger in my life, and avoiding it isn't an answer.
My own anger I have other issues about, but I'm making progress on them, I think.
All of this, of course, is a reaction to childhood experiences, but it's taken remarkably long for me to start putting the pieces together.
I turn inward and become avoidant when anger is directed at me. I withdraw. This is perhaps understandable but not helpful. It makes discussion difficult, if not impossible, because I'm fearful and closed. Getting to talking takes longer than I wish, and sometimes never happens, because I'm afraid to approach until I have clear, unambiguous indication that the other party isn't angry and wants to talk. But often they're waiting for me to approach them. And sometimes they are still angry, but it's nonetheless a good idea to talk. I lack good coping mechanisms for this situation.
I need to figure out some other way of dealing with it. I encounter anger in my life, and avoiding it isn't an answer.
My own anger I have other issues about, but I'm making progress on them, I think.
All of this, of course, is a reaction to childhood experiences, but it's taken remarkably long for me to start putting the pieces together.
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-03 02:40 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-03 02:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-03 06:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-03 11:44 am (UTC)I actually have 2 responses when it comes to someone being angry at me.. I either raise MY voice and try and talk OVER the person or I just shut down and not say anything at all...
Neither are productive :-/
With my own anger, it tends to escalate quickly, go *pop* and then I'm all better. Like a tiny little ball of napalm... flames of hell and then nothing. I get over being angry rather quickly and can typically move on without carrying a grudge - and the PROBLEM with that is my goofy brain expects other people to be the same way....
heh... yeah right.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-03 02:36 pm (UTC)So many kudos to you for trying. Some folk never get around to it, and I have nothing but the highest respect for you for dealing with this scary stuff. This whole post is so honest and clearly a step in a positive direction. Go you! (rootin' for ya!)