It's so true. Sometimes. I have people whose alarming things I want/need to hear, and I'm afraid they won't always tell me, so I pretend they don't freak me out. But I have people who would prefer a certain amount of alarm in response to their alarming things, so they don't feel alone in it.
I think there's a difference between freaking out and showing a reasonable amount of concern. (Maybe alarm is in between?) But I generally find that the people who prefer a response would rather have one that shows care and understanding instead of one which shows fear and disgust.
I think a piece of that is the difference between "Oh dear, I hope that works out okay. Is there anything I can do to help?" and "Oh dear, the sky is falling! My great-aunt Bertha had that happen to her, and she was never the same afterwards" [followed by, if not stomped on, by a lengthy and detailed recitation of either Bertha's decline or what Bertha's illness did to the speaker's life, family, budget, or delicate sensibilities].
I do like that guy's essays. I don't always agree with them, and they aren't comprehensive by a long shot, but he's gotten quite good at taking interesting ideas and putting them in short, easily understood pieces of writing.
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randomness) wrote2008-06-02 10:20 pm
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