As far as I can tell, that's a matter of compatibility in at least two ways. One is that there needs to be enough compatibility that you don't wind up fighting over large areas (whether they be money, sex, housekeeping, party politics, whether to have children…). The other is that wanting, or being comfortable with, low-drama relationships is itself a kind of preference: I'm not going to be a good match for someone who would rather have regular fights over small things because the makeup sex is so good. Or because lack of drama makes them think the other person doesn't take them or the relationship seriously.
This. I can't stand a living situation with people who manufacture drama for its own sake. There's enough drama out in the world; I don't need it in my home, which is supposed to be my safe space.
Yah. I think moreover that low-drama relationships have more appeal to older people. Partly, this may be the triumph of experience over propaganda; the culture tends to idealize high-drama relationships because they make good stories, and because the outward appearance of drama is easier to portray as representing deep emotion.
Experience tends to teach that current drama is not unlike earlier drama, can and should be dealt with accordingly. And older people just have less energy to waste.
Also, I blame hormones. They really do seem to encourage drama.
But I'm totally with you regarding preference. Some people seem to have made drama a lifestyle choice.
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-29 06:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-29 09:20 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-29 12:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-29 12:44 pm (UTC)As far as I can tell, that's a matter of compatibility in at least two ways. One is that there needs to be enough compatibility that you don't wind up fighting over large areas (whether they be money, sex, housekeeping, party politics, whether to have children…). The other is that wanting, or being comfortable with, low-drama relationships is itself a kind of preference: I'm not going to be a good match for someone who would rather have regular fights over small things because the makeup sex is so good. Or because lack of drama makes them think the other person doesn't take them or the relationship seriously.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-29 03:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-31 02:55 am (UTC)Experience tends to teach that current drama is not unlike earlier drama, can and should be dealt with accordingly. And older people just have less energy to waste.
Also, I blame hormones. They really do seem to encourage drama.
But I'm totally with you regarding preference. Some people seem to have made drama a lifestyle choice.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-29 05:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-30 07:49 pm (UTC)