(no subject)

[randomness]

Maureen O'Connor, writing in New York magazine:

Though mixed-race couples still report rudeness and outright hostility from ­strangers—there are plenty of places in this country where they would be reasonably wary of walking in public hand in hand—I would wager that almost as many have experienced the bizarre enthusiasm of strangers who marvel, “Your babies will be so beautiful.” You could be the ugliest man and woman in the world, but if you are from distinctly different races, Americans will chase you down the street to describe the color they imagine your babies will be, perhaps invoking the name of a creamy coffee drink or citing a beautiful cousin of a cousin who has slanted eyes that are green. Politically correct people who would never make normative statements about the beauty of one race over another nevertheless feel liberated to adjudicate physical supremacy when the subjects are composed of multiple socially constructed groups. “Asian and white is my favorite,” a blonde soccer mom at my middle school told me once, as though my parents’ decision to marry and have kids was an ingenuity akin to the creation of a Labradoodle. She meant well, of course, even as she fetishized a preteen directly to her face. Today, I would be tempted to respond, “Really? I kind of like Somali-Inuit-Peruvian better,” though it may be worth noting that I’m a lot brattier about the subject when I’m talking to white people.

Yup. Both the hostility on the one hand and enthusiasm on the other are part of my personal experience as a member of a mixed-race couple.

I've never been particularly good at the bratty comeback myself, though.

Comments

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

The thing is, I don't know if actual research about the attractiveness of mixed-race people has been done, but studies have indicated that the wider the basis for an averaged face, the more attractive we consider it. So it would make sense that if the former were an effect of the latter. And it is anecdotally true that two of the most stunning people I've ever met were from wide mixes.

I believe, however, that I have successfully never commented about this to anyone for whom it would be personally relevant. Well, until now.

[eac.livejournal.com]

Yea, the art is not saying the thing out loud. I may have managed never to ask someone where they were *really* from, too. At least, I've never done that as an actual adult...

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

I'm fond of "Did you grow up in [city where we're talking]?" which may be equally transparent, but at least places the assumptions differently.

[achinhibitor.livejournal.com]

I have said "Did you grow up in [city where we're talking]?", though that was when the subject showed some diffidence about breaking a traffic law because said law was inconveniencing them. Dunno if that counts though...

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

Truthfully my immediate response to the enthusiasm in this case is bemusement, not offense.

[digitalemur.livejournal.com]

Prolly doesn't help when a girlfriend says herself that your babies would be cute if they ever happened WHICH THEY WILL NOT.