There's a lot out there that says we react to things without thinking. And there's some evidence of the fact that when we can keep critical criteria in mind when looking, we can override that. The key part is the latter, of course.
Also, I found myself noticing how pretty I found her, things that I don't like as much in myself. That's... kind of messed up, but I know that, and I'm working on it.
After reading it, I notice that she judges what people say to her. E.g., "what was so shocking was that the same man who spoke about my body in the most sexual (and blatantly offensive) of ways when I wore the second outfit turned around and told me how beautiful I was as soon as I traded in the bodycon and liquid foundation for a pretty dress and red lipstick" But there's no reason to assume all women want the same sort of attention, and every reason to believe that they adjust their look to get the reactions they prefer.
I'm reminded of an online discussion where someone had recently been through training regarding the four major Myers-Briggs personality types. He posted one-paragraph summaries of each of the four. Someone complained that he was being really vile, describing one type in glowing terms and the other three very negatively. But if you re-read them, all four descriptions were strictly value-neutral ... the emotional flavoring was all in the mind of the reader.
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(no subject)
Date: 2015-04-28 12:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-04-28 02:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-04-28 06:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-04-28 09:49 pm (UTC)Also, I found myself noticing how pretty I found her, things that I don't like as much in myself. That's... kind of messed up, but I know that, and I'm working on it.
(no subject)
Date: 2015-05-02 02:02 am (UTC)Given that people use apparel to broadcast how they desire to interact with the world, what would be surprising about that?
(no subject)
Date: 2015-05-02 09:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-05-05 02:25 am (UTC)After reading it, I notice that she judges what people say to her. E.g., "what was so shocking was that the same man who spoke about my body in the most sexual (and blatantly offensive) of ways when I wore the second outfit turned around and told me how beautiful I was as soon as I traded in the bodycon and liquid foundation for a pretty dress and red lipstick" But there's no reason to assume all women want the same sort of attention, and every reason to believe that they adjust their look to get the reactions they prefer.
I'm reminded of an online discussion where someone had recently been through training regarding the four major Myers-Briggs personality types. He posted one-paragraph summaries of each of the four. Someone complained that he was being really vile, describing one type in glowing terms and the other three very negatively. But if you re-read them, all four descriptions were strictly value-neutral ... the emotional flavoring was all in the mind of the reader.