Thoughts for the day: #1, On inconstancy.
Feb. 14th, 2005 04:35 pmJust because what she said then she now contradicts completely doesn't mean she was any less sincere then, or believes in what she says or does now any less.
Sometimes, that's hard. But it isn't any less true.
Sometimes, that's hard. But it isn't any less true.
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Date: 2005-02-14 09:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-14 09:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-14 10:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-14 10:20 pm (UTC)Oh dear me, no.
My phone is on, if you want to talk (about anything in specific or nothing in general :)
Thanks! I may call you, actually, as my friend seems dead set on going to Nepal.
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Date: 2005-02-14 10:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-14 10:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-14 11:01 pm (UTC)Oh, I do think...and that they don't admit the inconsistency merely makes it more likely that we don't remember, or bow to their rewriting of events.
But they do it as often, but have different coping mechanisms for it. Just wait until you date one of those :)
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Date: 2005-02-14 11:04 pm (UTC)An acquaintance--she was a boarder last summer--is actually from Nepal. I hope to get to talk to her soon about all of this.
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Date: 2005-02-14 11:34 pm (UTC)You know, this is one of the things that makes writing realistic characters so damned hard. Because people *do* that, and yet if you're inconsistent within the bounds of a story and do a 180 degree reversal, readers get fussy because hey! she said just the opposite five pages ago! Reality has no need to be consistent. Fiction, however, has to make sense. Aggravating!
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Date: 2005-02-14 11:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-14 11:39 pm (UTC)It is! I mean, I never thought of it in that context, but it must be a raging pain.
Also, because people expect standards of consistency from others--real or fictional--that they'd never themselves be able to match, it's a hard lesson to learn. I see a lot of finger pointing and anger, both in myself and others, because it's easier to get upset than to realize that reality isn't particularly neat or orderly.
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Date: 2005-02-14 11:40 pm (UTC)I actually thought about posting a comment about certain people making their inconsistency a habit, but I decided it would detract from my point.
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Date: 2005-02-14 11:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-14 11:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-14 11:50 pm (UTC)It is! 'cause people will run hot and cold at a moment's notice in real life, and sometimes you do have to explain your change in behavior, but you pretty much *always* have to explain it in fiction (see above!) And writing in a dramatic change of behavior or opinion that's based in emotion rather than intellect can be awkward, because you don't want to interrupt the flow of the story, but you're also largely obliged to be sure the reader understands what's really going on there. It's not one of my strengths as a writer (motivation? who needs motivation? it happens because I SAID SO!), but I'm learning.
Also, because people expect standards of consistency from others--real or fictional--that they'd never themselves be able to match, it's a hard lesson to learn. I see a lot of finger pointing and anger, both in myself and others, because it's easier to get upset than to realize that reality isn't particularly neat or orderly.
Yeah. That's actually one of my big beefs with many, many romance novels: at *least* 50% and frequently 90% of the problems in many romances could be cleared up if the two main characters would actually *talk* to one another. And then you'd have a short story instead of a novel, but that's a different problem. :)
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Date: 2005-02-15 12:01 am (UTC)This reference just made me smile.
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Date: 2005-02-15 12:03 am (UTC)Or, they might have the conversation, but the talk would spawn different, more subtle misunderstandings or frustrations, and then you'd have a different novel, probably sending you right out of the romance genre, into...um...there's probably a genre known for this but I can't name it offhand. :)
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Date: 2005-02-15 01:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-15 02:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-02-15 01:39 pm (UTC)But if I've said something inconsistent previously, and I'm aware of it, that does make me question what I'm saying now, and whether I really believe it.
It's very tiring :)
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Date: 2005-02-15 01:45 pm (UTC)I nearly cheered in the last season when Faith, having just finished her creepy encounter with the First in the guise of The Mayor, was asked by bald-principal guy if something was up, and she started to do the standard "no everything is fine, i'm just gonna let this encounter fester and eat at me" thing, but stopped, and actually talked about it w/bald prinicipal guy. Thus averting some crazy disaster. It was a small moment, but so telling about how thoroughly the show had relied on it's characters being so distant from one another most of the time. (And it confirmed my love for Faith as my favorite character.)
Ok, sorry about that, I'm done now.
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Date: 2005-02-16 02:13 am (UTC)The thing is, people change. Situations change. Life changes.
In a lot of ways it's completely unfair to expect someone to stay consistent despite all the changes. In fact, when some people do, we call them stubborn, out of touch, or inflexible.
When someone is inconsistent in something we relied on them for, that's hard, but sometimes it's unavoidable.
I guess what I've tried to learn is how to accept people's inconsistencies. And be able to distinguish inconsistency because of change from mere flakiness. :)
But if I've said something inconsistent previously, and I'm aware of it, that does make me question what I'm saying now, and whether I really believe it.
It's very tiring :)
I'm a big believer in self-analysis, so it seems to me that kind of questioning is helpful. But if it's getting too tiring, well, you seem a lot more consistent than a lot of other people, so...
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