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Me: "Why is it that there are all these guy songs saying 'I'm sorry I'm such a jerk' and all these girl songs saying 'My boyfriend's a jerk, and I'm leaving" or "...but I still love him" or both?

bedfull_o_books: "That's just the way life is, man."

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It is all due to the mind control and the long training.

That's because women are taught (subliminally or on purpose) that their job is to be next to a man. Maybe that's changing these days. . . women have confidence issues.

Away from the point, that's one of the reasons I like songs from guys that are like, "I'll help you get over the shit you've been through" like John Mayer's Daughters (which my housemate thinks is more like "...so I can get in your pants" but I'm not buying it).

Sorry, but I'm with your housemate on this one.

Have you listened to the lyrics? What makes you think he's all about sex in that song?

Oh. Nothing in the lyrics. Just knowing what I know about John Mayer (from people that went to high school with him in Fairfield CT, from my general impression of him, etc.).

So I guess I'm cheating by taking outside info. If you take the song and ignore everything else, I'm with you.

True. Besides, he's a long way from high school at this point (he's 23? 24?). People do grow and change. . . And yes, coming from the guy who wrote "Your Body is a Wonderland" I'm sure he gets more than his share. But the song, as a standalone, is very sensitive and very caring about a woman, acknowledging that most women get screwed up by the men in their life -- fathers, and boyfriends.

So this comment is going to sound weird now, but I realized in my replies to you I slipped unconsciously into elitist music jerk mode, and when you first replied back again I was embarrassed that you caught me out, even though you probably didn't realize it. So anyway, I've given the song a fair listen, and it is a pretty sweet song. So thanks for making me stop for a sec. Even if it wasn't your intent.

I don't know if any of that makes sense.

it totally does. And thank you -- I've been doing a whole bunch of listening and talking, and have had that same kind of epiphany, so thank you for being able to say "hey, I was doing this, and I'm sorry." Because it takes much more work to do that than to just let the comment go and slink off embarrassed, with me never knowing. *hugs*

To be fair, there's also a lot of "this girl makes my life hell, but I worship the ground she walks on anyway" songs.

And a few "you're a jerk, and I'm finally LEAVING" songs for both genders. :)

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