Inspired by...

[randomness]

...an ironic comment from dpolicar, and a (friends-locked) posting from redhound.

"(P)eople really don't read what you write. They read some sort of virtual text constructed from your title, a few fragments of your text, and whatever preconceptions may be stimulated by them. It's sort of amazing watching people rant about your failure to consider things you explicitly addressed."

"Hey, what do you have against reactions that completely miss your point? You want us all to understand you and respond relevantly, or something?"

I'd extend this to say that it's not just that people don't read what you write, they don't listen to what you say, or even watch what you do. As drbitch once observed, humans write stories; it's what they do. But they often pay more attention to the story inside their head than anything that may be playing out before them.

Comments

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

I think that this varies widely by speaker and hearer (or writer and reader).

Clearly.

David Mamet certainly believes it--I never really enjoyed his work, for all its critical acclaim, and then I read an interview in which he made this claim, that people never really listen to each other or manage to communicate. Suddenly everything he's written made a lot more sense to me.

I must say I'm of two minds about Mamet. His writing can certainly be clever. On the other hand--and I freely admit this may reflect more on the quality of undergraduate staging than his gifts as a playwright--I've never particularly had a great time at an actual performance.

But it's not the world I choose to inhabit.

You are, I think, exceptionally good both at expressing yourself and at listening to others. I think that certainly helps you choose which world to inhabit.

But there are still people I pretty much won't interact with, because I'm not interested in being a special effect in their one-person show.

I think I need to learn to do this. I've been a little too indiscriminate about interacting with judgmental people with too many preconceived notions about my life. And it's not that I'm saying or writing anything to them, it's that I'm living my life and having it be misinterpreted.

It proves a point I already really knew: the ultimate pointlessness of living your life for the benefit of onlookers. But while I rather expected this from my relatives I guess I was surprised to get it from my peers.

(I love your phrasing, btw.)