A scrap from yesterday's conversation.

[randomness]

Sex is communication. If someone is a bad communicator out of bed, it's unlikely they'll be a good communicator in bed. Possible, but unlikely.

Edit: A number of commenters have drawn a distinction between verbal and non-verbal communication, and assumed I meant "verbal=out of bed"; "non-verbal=in bed". That is not what I posted. I do find it noteworthy that people make that assumption.

Comments

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

As in my reply to drwex; I'm specifically not drawing a distinction between verbal and physical communication.

I'm drawing the distinction between people who are lousy communicators, verbally or physically, and people who are good communicators.

I have also been blessed in my associations with people who are good verbal communicators in bed, as well as being physical communicators, but that's another story.

(Although I admit that may be one reason why I don't draw the distinction between forms of communication; I often do a lot of verbal communication during sex as well, so it never occurred to me that people would assume that "in bed" = "non-verbal".)

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

I think that's more of a societal shame/propriety thing than a communication thing, and as such it can be overriden with practice.

Definitely.

I do think it's telling that people connect communication during sex with non-verbal communication; there's certainly a lot of it, but the lack of verbal communication during sex is, as you say, something of a societal assumption.

Moreover, we're speaking on LJ, so simply because of the venue there are a disproportionate number of people here who are verbally articulate, so there's an obvious assumption that people out of bed generally communicate with words; this isn't as true as this sample set might assume.