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I saw a sign like this one in a Montreal breakfast place a couple of years ago and decided it would be perfect for the S&C:

Veuillez Choisir Vous-Même Une Table Libre


In February, I was in Montreal and visited a nearby restaurant supply place to see if I could find one. As it turned out, tucked away in a battered cardboard box on a dusty bottom shelf, they had a few restaurant signs in standard size, shape, design, and typeface. I bought two double-sided signs. Here's what the other side says:

Notre Hôtesse Vous Assignera Une Table


(Hôtesse, eh?)

The other sign says

Prenez Garde-Plancher Glissant


on one side and

S.V.P. Laissez-Nous Le Soin De Vous Assigner Une Place


on the other. I don't know why all the words are capitalized, but the English language sign set from International Pattern, Inc. also seem to capitalize all the words. I haven't been able to find an online source for the French language sign set, or any other language, like Spanish.

They also had some signs that said things like "No Smoking" and "Management takes no responsibilty for lost or stolen objects" and suchlike, but I figured all we really needed was the ones I got. Also, they're going to need a frame and stand for the sign, but that's easy.

As one of our siblings suggested today at lunch when I dropped them off, the steward can now point and say, "Can't you read the sign?" The stewards were visibly pleased.

So there you have it. For under $25 and a little legwork in another country you too can give your restaurant that touch of "je ne sais quoi" (or perhaps "q'est-ce que fuck?") lent by French language signage.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-03 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] digitalemur.livejournal.com
This is all part of the plans for the fatwa, isn't it.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-03 11:15 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodstones.livejournal.com
But what do they mean? I need translations...

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 04:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodstones.livejournal.com
Though it is also worth mentioning that I approve of all things absurd and surreal being added to the S&C. One of my favorite S&C memories is still the time we had a dramatic reading of Poe's Annabelle Lee 'because nothing says valentines day like necrophilia'.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 08:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] r-ness.livejournal.com
Yes! Absurd and surreal are definitely good things.

Remind me that I must tell you of a T-shirt idea one of the current undergrads mentioned to me which I cannot quote here.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodstones.livejournal.com
I always want t-shirts that can't be worn in polite company. Although then I get annoyed that I never have anywhere to wear my 'I fuck like a girl' t-shirt.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] r-ness.livejournal.com
Courtesy of Google Translate:

"please choose yourself a free table"

"Our hostess will be assigned a table"

"beware-slippery floor"

"S.V.P. let us take care to assign you a place"

Google still has a few issues, but you get the idea.
(deleted comment)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-04 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] r-ness.livejournal.com
You can acquire one of those signs for $10 Canadian, plus GST and PST.

[livejournal.com profile] bedfull_o_books has a great story with regard to bathrooms and messing with people's heads which I'm sure she'll share with you if you ask her.
(deleted comment)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-03-07 09:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] r-ness.livejournal.com
An excellent idea, which in fact the sibling who suggested the "Can't you read the sign?" response had also came up with.

We left it to her to make them. :)

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