(no subject)

[randomness]

Occasionally, I get really angry on behalf of some of my friends because of appearance privilege.

Here's what I mean: I have a number of friends who are really sweet, wonderful people. They often get treated badly, however, in part because they don't fit the societal definition of what people (women, particularly--most of them are women) should look like.

On the other hand, there are a few acquaintances who get away with truly obnoxious behavior because they're conventionally attractive. (I can't think of anyone who fits that description who is actually a friend, for the obvious reason that sufficiently obnoxious behavior tends to drive me away, even when I haven't been directly affected by it.)

There's not much I can do about it except try to be a good friend, but it still rankles.

Comments

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I mean, I tend to think those things you mention "include them in social spaces, talk them up to other people to encourage social network formation, pay them compliments about their individual excellentness to help combat the downer of being the victim of prejudice" are part of the things I think of as part of being a good friend, so I think we're overall in agreement here on actions, just categorizing those actions differently. But good to point out that it's not just the one-on-one acts of friendship, but those that help them socially, that are important.

(The subject occurred to me because I was describing a friend to another friend and talking her up in the process. But it still made me sad that she was being treated poorly.)

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

*nods* i forget that this is ordinary behavior in our community, having lived in others with different social rules. go you :)