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Jun. 18th, 2009 12:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
randomnessOccasionally, I get really angry on behalf of some of my friends because of appearance privilege.
Here's what I mean: I have a number of friends who are really sweet, wonderful people. They often get treated badly, however, in part because they don't fit the societal definition of what people (women, particularly--most of them are women) should look like.
On the other hand, there are a few acquaintances who get away with truly obnoxious behavior because they're conventionally attractive. (I can't think of anyone who fits that description who is actually a friend, for the obvious reason that sufficiently obnoxious behavior tends to drive me away, even when I haven't been directly affected by it.)
There's not much I can do about it except try to be a good friend, but it still rankles.
Here's what I mean: I have a number of friends who are really sweet, wonderful people. They often get treated badly, however, in part because they don't fit the societal definition of what people (women, particularly--most of them are women) should look like.
On the other hand, there are a few acquaintances who get away with truly obnoxious behavior because they're conventionally attractive. (I can't think of anyone who fits that description who is actually a friend, for the obvious reason that sufficiently obnoxious behavior tends to drive me away, even when I haven't been directly affected by it.)
There's not much I can do about it except try to be a good friend, but it still rankles.
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Re: "ugly"
Date: 2009-06-19 05:31 am (UTC)I just got back from a conference where I noticed a lot of the unattractive-but-thin-and-dolled-up phenomenon, and realized that that is DEFINITELY how some people who aren't that attractive cover for it. But that must be _really_ hard, to keep all of that up. It's a pretty serious lifestyle choice to spend time and money on the hair and the nails and the makeup and the clothing and the shoes.
Then again, there were also a lot of really gorgeous people of all sizes there too, and this made me happy even though I definitely noticed that the vendor booths were staffed by a lot of young, skinny, conventionally pretty people. They looked uncomfortable in their high heels. I felt bad for them as well, because again, that combination of choices just looked uncomfortable and boring to me, one of the chubby crazy hippie academic folks at the conference in my low sandals and loose skirts....