(no subject)

[randomness]

In a friends-locked post recently, one of my friends discussed how people don't actually read what you write, but instead construct a virtual text from your title, a few fragments, and their own preconceptions.

A few minutes ago I realized something analogous happens when people don't hear what you say. It's all the worse when what you say isn't a very accurate reflection of the thoughts inside your head. And worse still when your primary focus is being witty, not transferring information.

I care very deeply about her. However, I find it very difficult to articulate that feeling to others. Not to her, fortunately, and that's reassuring. But it never comes out right when I try to explain it to anyone else.

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Unrelated to that I had a (rather constructive and informative) rant building but it would have been better if I had had it about 48 hours ago so I could have presented it in a meeting. Perhaps it's more of a disquisition than a rant.

Comments

[intuition-ist.livejournal.com]

indeed. this is wisdom. as long as you realize these two things, it will be much *harder* to miscommunicate.

[awfief.livejournal.com]

not necessarily. Both parties have to understand that. It's harder when emotional stuff is involved. I've said "I'm really sorry, I took something about you and made it all about me, because I was feeling defensive" *in* a conversation. I've also had that happen to me, without apology or anything, and hard feelings still exist.

So, it takes 2. (unless your 2 was plural, or you were assuming r_ness could be coherent enough 'in the moment' to try to explain to someone what they did, or explain what he did. My example above was a moment of clarity that doesn't often happen in conversations, but perhaps should.)