I found some of my old journals over the weekend.

[randomness]

I'd completely forgotten I kept journals back when I was an undergrad. But I hung onto them. I was looking for other stuff when I came upon a binder and looked inside to see what it was, only to find I was looking at a dated page detailing what I'd felt and thought on first meeting with someone I haven't seen in ages.

I went to the next room and called bedfull_o_books. "I'm never going to make fun of anyone's LJ ever again!" I laughed. "This stuff is amazing! It reads just like some people's LJ's!"

She berated me for even opening them. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

"No, no, you don't understand!" I said. "It's funny. I mean, I really get this great perspective on how much better my life is nowadays. It's great!"

I'd only looked at a few pages of a thick pile when I started thinking, "Man, I just wanna tell this guy, 'Move over. I'll drive. Just hang on and enjoy the ride.'"

I don't know what's worse, reading about my obsessions about people I'd completely forgotten or reading about my first impressions--and obsessions--about people I later got involved with.

So many things seem trivial now that were totally overblown then. And so many things that I completely missed the importance of then are obvious now.

After a quick glance at those few random pages I decided I didn't have time for any more of this and put it back in the files. Well, I know where that is, if I ever need to find it again.

I still make plenty of mistakes now, but they don't have the psyche-shattering importance they did then, and I move on past them a lot more easily now. I guess I step a lot more lightly through life now, which probably makes me a lot more fun to be with, now that I think of it.

"Guy. Take it easy. It's all going to be fine."

I'm sure I wouldn't have listened. :)

Comments

[dana325.livejournal.com]

I decided to keep the journal from highschool where I spend pages 5 - 10 pages agonizing over having eaten ONE SLICE OF PIZZA. (I was on a 700 calorie a day diet at the time..which was pretty much my normal existence) Going back to reunion left me yearning for the fun of college days again..but there are definitely some very good aspects to being older and hopefully a bit wiser!

[dana325.livejournal.com]

make that I spent pages 5 - 10 agonizing