Why did you abandon the mainstream?

[randomness]

(a placeholder for a more substantive post)

In many ways I was never accepted by the mainstream. By virtue of the combination of my race and upbringing, I was always going to be the "other". So in contrast to many of my friends, who appear to have consciously chose the subculture, I ended up here because integrating into the mainstream was problematic.

And there are many mainstream assumptions which I think are completely fucked-up. That tends to reinforce my decision. Not that the particular social niche I find myself in is lacking in fucked-up assumptions, but perhaps there aren't as many, or at least there are fewer which impact me directly.

I'm still thinking about this.

Comments

[sweetmmeblue.livejournal.com]

This was me too. The way I was treated by others always made sure that I understood that I was not one of them even when I tried. Then I went to my first SciFi con and suddenly things started to get better. There are still individuals within the group that I do not click with but that's the norm, however overall I feel more at peace here than trying to function in the mundane world.

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

Yah, I admit that I had nowhere near as much self-awareness on this subject at the time, but I think a group which assumed that there was something different about me just from external appearance was never going to fly with me, and finding a group where my differences were considered minor by comparison, and thus lost in the noise as it were, made it easier for me to function.

And, having some small amount of social intuition, even at the time, meant that I gravitated that way.

[awfief.livejournal.com]

See, you looked different . . . so did I, in a way. Once we'd moved I was no longer popular, and looking back on it I see that nobody that moved to town after I did was really very accepted (except among the druggie crowds). And I was fat, therefore looked different.

I guess I don't quite understand feeling alienated vs. being alienated from without. Just having them look at you and know? Most groups (say adults) didn't recognize anything different about me except being fat, but the important ones (school) did.