Why did you abandon the mainstream?

[randomness]

(a placeholder for a more substantive post)

In many ways I was never accepted by the mainstream. By virtue of the combination of my race and upbringing, I was always going to be the "other". So in contrast to many of my friends, who appear to have consciously chose the subculture, I ended up here because integrating into the mainstream was problematic.

And there are many mainstream assumptions which I think are completely fucked-up. That tends to reinforce my decision. Not that the particular social niche I find myself in is lacking in fucked-up assumptions, but perhaps there aren't as many, or at least there are fewer which impact me directly.

I'm still thinking about this.

Comments

[evilbunnymayhem.livejournal.com]

Being what I assume is a "mainstreamer" here- there's another point of view that may not be taken into account-
Those in mainstream culture often at times don't actually feel the acceptance you're describing. I mean predjudice is predjudice... which is horrid and a whole nother matter in itself and perhaps I'm not completely understanding the term "mainstream" here. I'm ging to assume you are speaking of the dating world and how people choose what kind of relationships to be in-
very very bad analogy coming here-
Flock of sheep. If you look like the other (similar dress and lifestyle) sheep, smell like the other sheep, do the same things the other sheep do and are generally no different than any of them and don't stand out from the crowd... does that mean you're accepted? If one is lonely and thinks differently yet blends in (and is accepted as mainstream) does that make that person part of the whole?

Perhaps you're talking not about relationships and more about recreational activites or the issues of predjudice in our society.... in which case I'm blathering.
But I've found more and more that the "mainstream" seems to be breaking up a bit. Of all the people I've known only 2 have married and gone for the "traditional picket fence" lifestyle. You can marry anyone of any sex in MA... that's a huge difference in social norms sicne I was a kid at least... an a good one at that.
Not of offend anyone with any of this commentary- it's just random thoughts from another open minded individual with maybe a different perspective.

[evilbunnymayhem.livejournal.com]

Oh... and one other thought-
no matter what social niche you find yourself in... I find it both interesting and comforting that it's nothing new. Societies have had all kinds of social cliches for eons. Perhaps it's human nature to separate individuals into smaller groups based on similarities, likes, dislikes and belief systems. It could possibly be a way to create family structures as adults once we've grown and left those of childhood... or if you want to read even more into it- to find the family structures that were never there as children. Wow... hmm... I could keep going with this but I best stop. This is your post after all.
We should chat tho. This is really a deep topic to ponder.
:)

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure that I find it comforting that ostracization is age-old, and in fact predates humanity.

I recognize it has a social function, and it's certainly interesting, but I'm not comforted by it.

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

perhaps I'm not completely understanding the term "mainstream" here.

I think we're talking about two different things, here.

There were mainstream assumptions that didn't work for me--one of them was lack of acceptance of who I was, for example--and so I found those assumptions a barrier to entry to the mainstream. I didn't want to be part of a group which wanted to define me in a way I wasn't.

If you look like the other (similar dress and lifestyle) sheep, smell like the other sheep, do the same things the other sheep do and are generally no different than any of them and don't stand out from the crowd... does that mean you're accepted? If one is lonely and thinks differently yet blends in (and is accepted as mainstream) does that make that person part of the whole?

You're talking about passing for mainstream. If their assumptions aren't working, why stay? Why look like them, smell like them, do the same things they do, if it makes one lonely and one thinks differently.

Does that make sense? I think you're talking about people who appear to be mainstream by outward appearance; I'm talking about rejecting the mainstream world-view.

[evilbunnymayhem.livejournal.com]

*nod* makes much more sense- yes... and I suppose in many ways I oversimplified myself... I think in many ways to understand what your getting at is to understand your definition of 'mainstream views'- because to me at least it was outward appearance (basically a suburban wonderbread atomaton) as well as certain expectations (the education, the 9-5 job, the house the kids the marriage etc..). And perhaps "comfort" was the wrong word, more that social structures rise and fall all throughout history and nothing is perminant, there's always room for improvement, so if it sucks people will change it somehow. But it's pretty cool that in a few generations time we've changed the face of what it is to be 'mainstream'... slowly and imperfectly... one example-
my mum's generation... job prospects? teacher, nurse, dental assistant.... now? phhbt. women can be a CEO, lawyer, doctor, astronaut. Not perfect, but it's a start.
my mum's generation.... to be gay, good luck. now? marriage is legal and you can walk down the street holding hands/kissing etc. No, not nearly perfect yet... but it's a start. Elvis's pelvis was EVIL... now? we can be naked ona billboard or take nude yoga classes on rooftops across manhattan...

mainstream view is changing. My question/thought is... what does it matter if you fit into it if it's changing and perhaps in a few decades going to become something else that may allow for all of your differences... or at least some of them.
Why stay?
Well that's just it... I think people aren't.