Why did you abandon the mainstream?

[randomness]

(a placeholder for a more substantive post)

In many ways I was never accepted by the mainstream. By virtue of the combination of my race and upbringing, I was always going to be the "other". So in contrast to many of my friends, who appear to have consciously chose the subculture, I ended up here because integrating into the mainstream was problematic.

And there are many mainstream assumptions which I think are completely fucked-up. That tends to reinforce my decision. Not that the particular social niche I find myself in is lacking in fucked-up assumptions, but perhaps there aren't as many, or at least there are fewer which impact me directly.

I'm still thinking about this.

Comments

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

Wow, your post confuses the crap out of me.

Evidently so! :)

I consider our backgrounds to be vaguely similar.

They weren't, really. I mean, you grew up on the N train, which is miles apart from being from a backwater suburb past the end of Metro-North.

Though in the end, I figure if you have enough self-esteem you don't ever let other people -including those in your social group- do your thinking for you you'll always do fine.

So I think I can see where the confusion lies.

I didn't want to be defined by the assumptions of the mainstream, because they wanted to define who I was. And a significant part of that was their assumptions of who I was based on my race: I was, as you say, alien.

And to me, gee, I'm just me. I don't think I want to be defined as alien.

My alienness gives me an instant pass in not knowing the subtleties while being asian is not as bad as being black, white or jewish depending on the racist subculture.

So, what you're saying is that the box the mainstream puts you in is a better box than the one they put some other people in. That's nice, but I want more opportunity to define my own box than the mainstream allowed me to have.

Does that make sense? Or can I clarify further?

[dirque.livejournal.com]

Actually you'd be surprised. A lot of the Chinese migration came much later. My parents were from the Manhatten non-Chinatown restaurant social group of the early 70's and they knew everyone by name. Up to high school I was the only Chinese in my class. All my friends were basically Italian. But i accept that growing up at the end of the metroNorth line is much different than growing up at the end of the N line.

But actually my point is that I exploit the shit out of the assumptions other people have of me. I adore the alieness. I mean if you looked mainstream people would assume you're just like them, no? And that to me is a much worse strait jacket than someone who is superficially different- non offensive - but mostly like them. There's more leeway when you break the mold.

It especially cracks me up when someone uses me as an example of how cosmopolitan they are because I'm their Chinese friend. And like you I have sooo many different crowds I can run with. In a way I'm their excuse to not run with people just like them as they are my gateway to a specific subgroup.

And all I can say is thank goodness you're not mainstream. Thank goodness you're different and don't fit into a specific subculture. I'm better off for it. because I use you and will continue to use you to pump you for information, experiences, and anecdotes for things I don't have the time or ability to experience for myself. You're my gateway into dozen of social groups and subcultures and I humbly offer to be your gateway into mine.