(no subject)

[randomness]

Occasionally, I get really angry on behalf of some of my friends because of appearance privilege.

Here's what I mean: I have a number of friends who are really sweet, wonderful people. They often get treated badly, however, in part because they don't fit the societal definition of what people (women, particularly--most of them are women) should look like.

On the other hand, there are a few acquaintances who get away with truly obnoxious behavior because they're conventionally attractive. (I can't think of anyone who fits that description who is actually a friend, for the obvious reason that sufficiently obnoxious behavior tends to drive me away, even when I haven't been directly affected by it.)

There's not much I can do about it except try to be a good friend, but it still rankles.

Comments

[marith.livejournal.com]

Hear, hear. It's one of those things I think tends to be really invisible until one is affected by it, directly or indirectly.

At a work meeting once, someone showed a slide humorously comparing our product to a photo of a fat woman's backside and the competition to a model in a bikini. Apparently it was a big hit at the organization conference in Germany.

I tartly suggested that it must be nice to be a small thin woman and be able to say such things. My coworkers froze in horror. They had no idea such a thing could be considered offensive and fell over themselves apologizing. (They really are very nice people and would never say anything hurtful on purpose - and they're tiny cute Asian women, and had never given a thought to the advantages that gives them presenting to a roomful of men.)

(Much like I rarely think about the advantages being a confident outspoken white woman gives me in every business situation. It goes all ways.)

[denyse.livejournal.com]

One drawback to being small and asian and female is that patients refuse to believe I am their doctor. They're convinced I'm their nurse and should therefore be fetching them their blankets, water, food, bedpan etc (which I will do, when not 3rd trimester pregnant and having trouble waddling around doing this while also doing my usual duties).
unfortunately, it dings me on customer satisfaction surveys because they actually think they haven't seen a doctor, no matter how many times I tell some of them I really AM their doctor. I've seen people actually walk around and past the white, balding resident caring for them, and ask me to get their mother something to drink (and I won't even know who their mother is).

[marginaleye.livejournal.com]

unfortunately, it dings me on customer satisfaction surveys because they actually think they haven't seen a doctor, no matter how many times I tell some of them I really AM their doctor.

There ought to be some kind of control question in your customer satisfaction survey for weeding out the surveys submitted by hardcore mouth-breathing idiots, so you can simply put dump those in the circular file.

[orichalcum.livejournal.com]

Well, I thought you were great. :) And yeah, no fetching bedpans when 3rd trimester pregnant!

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

that's horrible. my mom (a white woman) became a pathologist in order to avoid exactly this situation -- fifty years ago!

[marith.livejournal.com]

*gah* that sounds incredibly frustrating. I can tell you are a more caring and patient practitioner than I would ever be, because time after time you don't pour the drink over their head call them on their sexist/racist behavior. You just get them what they need and go on. That's pretty awesome.