Sometimes, discretion is the better part of valor.

[randomness]

I'm ever mindful that I'm engaged in a conversation with the people who have decided to put me on their default view. I think I have, over time, decided that I need to follow the rules of polite society when posting.

I have nonetheless angered a number of people who have flounced out of my journal and my life. This is sad, but unavoidable. I am gradually embracing the fact that I piss some people off. (I am sometimes more glib, and say "I'm embracing my inner asshole" but that phrase has some awkward anatomical implications.)

On the other hand, I'm also trying to avoid one of the counter-fallacies redhound describes in passing in his oft-quoted Five Geek Social Fallacies, that of "Your Feelings, Your Problem":

Less commonly, people form a sort of counter-fallacy which I call "Your Feelings, Your Problem". YFYP carriers deal with other people's fallacies by ignoring them entirely, in the process acquiring a reputation for being charmingly tactless. Carriers tend to receive a sort of exemption from the usual standards: "that's just Dana", and so on. YFYP has its own problems, but if you would rather be an asshole than angstful, it may be the way to go. It's also remarkably easy to pull off in a GSF1-rich environment.

So there are things I consider saying that I find myself filtering out in my head, partly because I've decided that while I like tweaking people's assumptions I'd also like to continue having them read me.

As I don't care much for compartmentalizing my journal--and by implication, my life--by proliferating filtered groups, I think carefully about what I say, because it's going out to everyone on my flist, at least.

It's a balance. Sometimes, like now, I feel it somewhat constraining.

I post a lot about finance. Partly it's because I find it fascinating; it's the actions of a huge number of crazy primates chasing after abstractions. They're not very good at it, so their antics can be comical, as long as you're not within range of their flung feces.

But partly I realize that by posting about finance I can post about a subject sufficiently obscure that I can be snarky and yet not piss my friendslist off. I admit this is in no small part a reflection of the interests of my friendslist. Other readers, maybe I'd post more about politics. Or sex. I don't know.

I originally chose food for similar reasons.

I recognize that both finance and food can be triggering subjects for people; some of my friends have said as much. I'm sorry about that. I think they're less triggering than politics or sex, or relationships. I guess I could stick to transit and travel.

I suppose, thinking about it, that the subjects I currently write about I'm more likely to bore readers than anger them. And that's been okay, if limiting. I'm told this is a terrible way to approach writing; it's probably true, but the reverse comes hard.

Anyway, that's my navel-gazing for the moment.

Comments

[karakara98.livejournal.com]

I'm going to be the black sheep and say I tend to read your finance posts more often than your travel or food posts. I think that's because I read LJ as a distraction at work, when I'm in a more analytical mind set. Food and travel reviews tend to be something I read more when I'm looking for someplace to go. (Though your Beirut post a few years back did make a big impression on me).

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

Though your Beirut post a few years back did make a big impression on me

Intriguing! Can I ask what impression it made, and which post you're talking about? I remember blogging a bit from Beirut--partly because I was recovering from a drought of internet in Syria--but I'm not sure what I wrote that would have made an impression.

[karakara98.livejournal.com]

I think it was the fact that you were there and talked so highly of it, only to have it be bombed again relatively shortly thereafter.

I should also note that in my background is a remembered discussion among two Lebanese classmates during high school, one Christian, one Muslim, about whether or not they'd go back there to live in Beirut someday.

[digitalemur.livejournal.com]

You know, r_ness expresses, periodically, that he means to talk to you more than he ends up getting to. Y'all should do something about that. I like it when you two talk. And I'd love to listen if I happen to be around when you do.

[karakara98.livejournal.com]

Also, I find it interesting how Livejournal differs from a the heyday group discussion list that we are on together. It seems like the discussion list dynamics were to all come together in a public place to debate things. I think of it like a town hall. LJ seems more like a discussion in someone's home. Someone is your host, and it does well not to offend them when you're speaking in their living room (i.e. in the comments field). On the other hand, if I enter that person's living room (i.e. have them on my friends list) I expect my host to say what he or she wants to say. I may or may not wish to enter that space again depending on what I find. It's up to the host how welcoming she or he wants to be.